The Haves vs. The Have-Knots

If you're a fan of Aaron Karo, you'll know I borrowed the terms from this post title from him (and am hereby giving proper credit). Basically it's married people (Haves) versus unmarried people (Have-Knots). I never wanted to use this blog as a grievance outlet, but here goes.

A girlfriend of mine just got engaged and asked me to be in her wedding party. Being a Have-Knot myself, I didn't realize what I was getting into when I said yes. This is a commitment, man! Just to be a bridesmaid! Forget saying "I do". The wedding is next August and already I've accompanied her shopping for dresses, given opinions on videographers, interviewed two photographers, interviewed a deejay, helped her pick colors, flowers, favors, and themes, and we've still got a whole year to go.

The bride is Polish, so the wedding will be a Polish wedding. Her husband-to-be insisted on being completely uninvolved with the wedding itself, and so the bridesmaid brigade bravely forges on while he plays golf with the groomsmen. From what I understand the only things that change in a Polish wedding is the addition of a oczepiny ceremony, where the bride basically tosses her veil instead of the bouquet, and lots of drunken games of musical chairs. No Polish sausage for dinner as I had hoped.
I think the wedding is a test for the marriage. If you can get through that one day, nothing that comes down the line could get much worse. I think that's why most Have-Knots that I know are perfectly content in their unwed status.

It's strange to me that I've reached this point in my life now where a lot of people I know are getting hitched. I even went to the wedding of a couple who I saw through their entire courtship, from the drunken accidental hookup to the day he carried her over the threshold. Someday even I could be picking out flatware with somebody whose calls I continuously screened. To sum it all up, weddings are a weird, weird way of celebrating all of life's awkward moments.